Insights With Editing

I don’t think there is any “correct” way to edit your novel. You just gotta find what works best for you in that given moment or that given manuscript and continue to strive to create the best story you can.

That said, I’ve discovered some interesting differences editing ARTEMIS for the second time than my previous editing go-arounds.

The first comes thanks to the input from other writers, i.e., I sought help from beta readers. Last November, I sent my manuscript out with a questionnaire, looking for any sort of guidance and outside input to help enlighten this blind creator to the flaws and areas of improvement within her creation. I’d sought out opinions from others before, but never was I so organized or specific. Not only did I give a little more guidance as to what I was looking for, feedback wise, instead of the simple, “Do you like it?” generalization, but I also got opinions from five people instead of just one other person. And not from family members, either. Five fellow writers, all in different stages of their careers.

Their feedback has been invaluable.

Not only was I able to create a six page document of ideas and suggestions based off their advice, but I also made a copy of my manuscript, went through it and inserted all of their line edits. Every time I finish editing a chapter, I compare it to the chapter that I marked up based on their feedback. And almost every single time, the typos that I missed when I first sent out this manuscript, I missed again editing it myself, e.g., using lead when I meant led happened almost every time I use the word.

It never fails to blow my mind how often I’ll have these little mistakes and how I continually miss them, which is just one example of how important a second pair of eyes is.

The feedback from my betas, not only with the line edits, but the larger scale issues they pointed out, as well, has proven invaluable, as aforementioned. I don’t think I’ll go through editing a book again without seeking out betas to get a second (or sixth) opinion, but probably after I’ve had a chance to edit the book at least once myself.

The other major difference I’ve noticed doing these revisions is how I really do have to obey my moods in order to do this properly. Considering I’ve been in such a writing rut recently, I’ve been really focused on trying to write/edit every day to get back into the groove of things. Or finish so many chapters a week.

Sometimes, that desire to write consistently has taken away from the quality of the work I produced. Instead of actually editing and looking at the areas I needed to improve on in each scene (some things as minor as typos, others as grand as deleting and reworking entire sections), I was just trying to fly through the pages. I got through a couple of chapters before I realized that I needed to slow down and actually be willing to do the work.

Even if that meant on the days that I wasn’t willing, I didn’t force it for the sake of consistency.

I do think there is a difference between just being lazy and actually recognizing when you’re not in a mood to put in the work writing. But there have been times in the past month where I’m reading through a chapter and I’ve made all these notes of the elements I need to change, yet I haven’t made any of those changes, yet I made a move to cross off editing that chapter on my To-Do list. Or every single word I read, I immediately think is shit. It took me a couple times, reading through chapters without actually editing them, before I finally forced myself to take a step back, go do something else and then return to that chapter when I’m in a better frame of mind.

And every single time, I’ve found my work to be better than what I thought it was when I was in a foul mood. And every single time, I’ve made the changes I knew I needed to be making, but was just too lazy to make the previous time I sat time to work on it.

So, yeah. I’m not writing every day. Sometimes, I only work for 15 minutes. Sometimes, it’s three hours. Sometimes, it takes me a week to get through a chapter. Other times, I can fly through three in one session. But I’ve found that by listening to my own emotions and actually taking the time to think about what I’m actually feeling and the source behind those emotions, actually really helps my writing. I’ve come to be able to recognize when I’m looking for an excuse to waste time on Pinterest–and instead sit my butt down in that chair and force myself to get the work done–or when outside influences are risking the quality of my work. I’ve also become more keen to recognizing when I’m really in the mood to write and giving myself permission to listen to that desire, even if that means I have to send an apologetic email for failing behind on X, Y or Z.

I only have about 35 pages left to edit before I’ve finished another draft of ARTEMIS. It could take me a day or it could take me a month to finish. But I’m choosing to stop caring how long it takes and instead, do everything I can to make sure I’m creating my best work and always putting in 100% when I sit down to write.

Not gonna lie: I’m pretty jazzed about the progress I’ve made and have a lot of hope for this story. And that’s a feeling I most certainly missed.

Cheers.


One of the Neatest Things

Since last November, I’ve lost 19 pounds.

That’s something I never thought I’d write, let alone be my reality.

It is…one of the neatest things.

Part of me wants to apologize for even writing this post, because how braggy can someone get? Yet if you’ve ever stumbled upon this blog or have followed it for years, chances are, you’ve read a post about depression and self-hatred. You’ve read about the struggle I’ve had loving myself, most particularly the way I look. You’d know I’ve been fighting this battle for a long, long time.

You understand how monumental this feels for me.

So my apologies if I brag here for a moment.

 disney supernatural sherlock marvel dean winchester GIF

Like I have so many times before, last November, I told myself, “You need to lose weight. You need to become healthy. You need to create a body that you can look in the mirror and love.” For my height, the healthy weight range is 140-165. My goal has always been to get to 160 pounds and as the years have gone by, the amount of weight I’ve needed to lose to reach that point has only continued to increase. In high school, I was around 185 pounds, but by my senior year of college, I had finally hit that dreaded (to me) point and passed into the 200 range. I had reached the point where I had to lose 40 pounds to get to the higher end of my healthy weight range. I felt hopeless and discouraged in a lot of ways. That sort of weight loss was impossible to achieve.

Eight months later, I’m at 181 pounds. One more pound shed and I’ll be halfway to my goal. Two pounds and I’ll be in the 170s. If I lose a pound a week, I could reach my goal by Thanksgiving. Of this year.

Friends, I am floored at this progress. At this milestone. Of wanting the same thing for so long and finally actually doing something to achieve it. I’m floored to actually be able to feel and see the difference. I’m floored that, every once in the while, I look in the mirror and I smile at what I see. There is still plenty I want to change, but damn if I’m not stoked at where I’m at right now. The lowest weight I’ve been since I was in high school. Shaping the body that I want.

The journey itself has been a bit of a whirlwind. There were plenty of weeks where I gained weight or fluctuated between gaining and losing the same few pounds. There have been weeks where I’ve killed every fitness and eating goal I’ve put ahead of me and weeks where the only movement I got was reaching into the chip bag while sitting on my couch. It’s been a lot of trial and error to figure out what works for me and what doesn’t. There’s been times when I’ve had to forgive myself and times I knew I needed to push harder. I know that this journey will continue to change and evolve, as it’s one I’ll have for the rest of my life, because it certainly doesn’t end once I hit 160. I know there will always be hiccups and struggles and roadblocks and setbacks. That’s okay.

But for the first time ever, I’m confident that I’ll also see progress.

That is…one of the neatest things.

So thank you for your support. For encouraging me and challenging me in this journey. For telling me I’m worthy no matter what my size is (because that’s a capital T Truth). And thanks in advance for the future support and the understanding when I decline that dessert you offer or don’t go back for seconds, even though that food was bomb. It’s a lifestyle change that I’m so excited I’ve finally taken control of and I think it’ll always be a work-in-progress, but your encouragement, support and understanding is phenomenal. And I couldn’t do it without you.

Oh, and just for fun (and because I am so frugal and never spend money on anything), I also wanted to share my rewards for the next 20 pounds to lose. I think having a little extra incentive never hurt anyone, especially as I have a feeling the second 20 pounds might be harder to lose than the first.

  • 20 Pounds: New Tattoo
    • Granted, I’d already planned to get this one in August, but I’m going to cheat and count it as my reward.
  • 30 Pounds: Mass Effect Sweatshirt
    • This one might seem silly, but I’ve been eyeing this Mass Effect sweatshirt for many, many months. And it’s $60, which might not be a lot to you, but that’s always been unjustifiable to me. And I think losing 30 pounds is more than enough justification to get a kickass hoodie that I’ll never take off once I own it.
  • 40 Pounds: Die Hair
    • Again, I hate spending money, but especially on “frivolous” things like doing my hair (even though I feel so fantastic after getting it done). It gets expensive and a lot of the time, I just can’t let myself do it when I should be saving my money. But I’ve always wanted to die my hair darker professionally, even though doing so and getting it cut, too, is a bit pricey. But reaching the weight I never thought I’d reach and having my hair look amazing? Yes, please.

If you have some goals or dreams that you’ve always wanted to achieve but never seem to reach that finish line, I really encourage you to take a scary look at what you’re actually doing to achieve them. Before last November, while the dream of loving my body was very real, the actions I was taking to make it a reality were non-existent and thus, the dream was out of reach. And trust me: you want to know what it feels like to work towards what you believe to be impossible dreams and see yourself make progress, with the knowledge that you yourself are the reason you’re achieving them.

It really is one of the neatest things.

Cheers.


Quest for Happiness: Week Twenty Four

Fitness:

  • Long-term Goal: Shape the body I want and become healthier.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Workout 5x and eat well.
    • Status: I’m counting it. I did manage to workout five times and ate pretty well, though I sorta fell off that bandwagon over the weekend. But I’m still stoked about it and ready to continue improving this week.
  • This Week’s GoalWorkout 5x and stay on target with calorie goal.

Writing:

  • Long-term Goal: Edit three books, write four new books and query at least one.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Edit two chapters.
    • Status: Halfway! Only edited one chapter, but the next one is a bit massive, so I’ll dedicate the next week to working on it.
  • This Week’s Goal: Edit chapter.

Reading:

  • Long-term Goal: Read 60 books.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Finish book and write review.
    • Status: Done. And boy was that finale fantastic.
  • This Week’s Goal: Pick one book out the five awesome choices to read next.

Relaxation:

  • Long-term Goal: Create and maintain a mindset that taking care of yourself is just as important as everything else.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Kill some war chiefs and get my tan on.
    • Status: Success! 
  • This Week’s Goal: A lot of reading, a lot of tanning and a lot of orc slaying.

Blogging:

  • Long-term Goal: Increase output over all three blogs, i.e., post more consistently.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Blog twice.
    • Status: Success (even if it was on my book review blog and not this one).
  • This Week’s Goal: Blog twice.

Financial:

  • Long-term Goal: Manage money with more awareness, start retirement fund and build savings.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Map out available spending.
    • Status: Yep.
  • This Week’s Goal: Resist the growing temptation to buy shit.

Quick post today, but excited to continue to push forward as we’re already halfway through the summer!

Cheers.


The Versatile Blogger Award!

First and foremost, a shout out must go to Jess over at ellDimensional for the gracious tag and the lovely mention alongside it. I am not only a huge fan of her blog, but of her as a person. I am so lucky to have stumbled upon connecting with her within the wide and vast webs of the Internet and very thankful for her positivity, encouragement and friendship.

So why don’tcha go check out her fantastic blog and see what I’m talking about?

What is the Versatile Blogger Award?

Bloggers nominate other bloggers who they believe deserve recognition for their high quality standard of writing, uniqueness of content, passion and love displayed throughout the site and to top it off, amazing photos!

Rules of the Versatile Blogger Award:

Thank the blogger who nominated you and share their link.

Nominate up to 10 bloggers for the award and provide links to their blogs. Also, inform them about the nomination.

Reveal 7 facts about yourself that your readers may not know.

  1. I don’t like bacon.
  2. In the 7th grade, my Mom suggested that I start plucking my eyebrows, because they were starting to get out of control (and they most certainly were). But I thought that the plucking was too painful, so I tried to shave the areas that needed to be plucked with a razor while in the bathtub, looking at my reflecting in the faucet.

    Needless to say, I had to pencil in my eyebrows for a couple weeks, afterwards. And there are still a few spots where the hair will never grow back.

  3. I’ve written five books and I’m pretty dang proud of that fact, honestly.
  4. I’m pretty sure I love dogs more than I do humans.
  5. I wrote my undergraduate thesis over how we could read The Lord of the Rings, in comparison to Jackson’s cinematic adaptations, as a plea to protect our environment, before the numerous Shires we once had are all poisoned into the reflections of Mordor. My secondary reader said they never met anyone who knew Tolkien so in-depth so naturally. Probably the best compliment I’ve ever received.
  6. I have five tattoos and plan to get my sixth, which is centered around LOTR, this August.
  7. I’m the most shyly extroverted, socially-charged introvert you might know.
Image result for golden retriever puppies

Here’s a puppy. Because always.

So, confession time.

I love blogging. As aforementioned in numerous posts, I use this blog as an outlet, which is why my posts range from writing woes to self-love struggles to video game rants to random musings. And I’ve found a really great community of bloggers that I follow and read as regularly as my hectic life allows. Yet I haven’t done a very good job at finding more bloggers to follow, instead staying within my discovered and adored circle of favorites.

I’m reminded of this when I’m lucky enough to get nominated or tagged in fun awards, such as this one, which asks you to tag some of your favorite fellow bloggers, and I always end up tagging the same people; who, don’t get me wrong, are all fantastic and amazing and you should definitely follow. That never changes. But it does remind me that I need to go and find more amazing bloggers to be inspired by.

So if you’d like to do this, please, feel free. I apologize for not tagging anyone, but I feel like I need to expand from my original crew. Hopefully, if I get to do another award in the future, I’ll have some new faces to point you towards.

Until then, keep smiling and thanks for reading!

Cheers.


Quest for Happiness: Week Twenty Three

Fitness:

  • Long-term Goal: Shape the body I want and become healthier.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Workout 5x and eat well.
    • Status: Nada, señor. I worked out once and ate pretty decently (still gotta figure out how to navigate those weekends). The journey continues!
  • This Week’s GoalWorkout 5x and eat well.

Writing:

  • Long-term Goal: Edit three books, write four new books and query at least one.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Edit three chapters.
    • Status: Killed it. Only 60 pages left to edit and I’m pretty jazzed about my progress so far.
  • This Week’s Goal: Edit two chapters.

Reading:

  • Long-term Goal: Read 60 books.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Read every day.
    • Status: Nada. 
  • This Week’s Goal: Finish book and write review.

Relaxation:

  • Long-term Goal: Create and maintain a mindset that taking care of yourself is just as important as everything else.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Swim, game and Sherlock.
    • Status: Success! Didn’t swim much or watch Sherlock, because my life has once again been consumed by playing Shadows of Mordor. I regret nothing.
  • This Week’s Goal: Kill some war chiefs and get my tan on.

Blogging:

  • Long-term Goal: Increase output over all three blogs, i.e., post more consistently.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Blog twice, catch up on reading blogs and responding to comments.
    • Status: Success!
  • This Week’s Goal: Blog twice.

Financial:

  • Long-term Goal: Manage money with more awareness, start retirement fund and build savings.
  • Last Week’s Goal: FRUGAL.
    • Status: Eh? Finally caved and bought some new running shoes. Very, very close to not being paycheck to paycheck anymore. Very ready to get there.
  • This Week’s Goal: Map out available spending.

Last week, I had a lazy week and got lost executing orcs in Mordor. And I’m okay with that, especially as I still accomplished my writing goals. This week, as I start my new schedule going full-time, I’m ready to get back on the grind and form a routine. Let’s see what goals we can accomplish.

Cheers.

 


Frankly, I Have No Idea What to Title This Post

There’s a line from Twenty One Pilot’s “Migraine” that says, “Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind.”

I really love that line.

I also wish they gave advice on how to do just that.

I’m an over-thinker. A worrywart, as my companions and parents growing up dubbed me. I’ve always been this way. I know I’m not alone in this, but sometimes, that knowledge doesn’t help me deal with my incessant need to look at every angle of a situation–and often situations that haven’t happened yet, but are possible–and then fixate on the worst possible one, causing anxiety, stress and depression to set in as I then obsess over this outcome. Which, nine times out of ten, doesn’t even come true.

But let’s not keep this simple. Let’s include the heart into this, add another layer of complexity.

I’m a big believer of following your heart. It’s why mine is so scarred. I’m not afraid to chase what it wants without abandon. Some believe that’s foolish. Yet that’s not something I’m going to change. I’m sure it comes to no surprise that often, the heart and the mind conflict, even to the point where the mind overrules the heart and makes it confused on what it even wants, which makes it even harder to come to a decision about what to do in X situation.

Hold on, though. Still not complicated enough. Then add in the need to please others and the reliance on your fellow’s good opinion and approval.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

Welcome into the mind of Nicole.

‘Tis a confusing place.

Of course, I have a specific conundrum in mind: my love life. It’s complicated and confusing and conflicting, which I think is the most difficult thing to deal with. At any given moment, my mind will tell me to do one thing and my heart will agree. The next, my mind and heart splits. Another second passes and my heart has completely changed its tune, but now my head is questioning. And then you add in the opinions of everyone else I value–and don’t forgot the overthinking mind that doesn’t fail to look into every possible solution into every possible scenario, and frankly?

I’m just at a loss.

Here’s the situation (you might have gathered inklings about it from this postthis post or this post. Sorry my complicated love life has taken over this blog. But this blog is my outlet and I’ve never been confused like this before. Ergo, a lot of emotionally-charged posts).

Entered into a FWB relationship which actually felt and was treated like more of an actual relationship, just in secret. Not surprising that, on my end, feelings developed and complications arose. I “left” and then came back, twice, before finally deciding to leave the “benefits” side of a relationship and trade it for a “just friends” side, so I could move on emotionally and find someone who’d be capable and willing to meet both my needs and my wants. It’s been…hard, but I’m getting there. What’s been the hardest, however, is being plagued with one question:

What if? 

Because while I left because I needed more stability, more commitment and more certainty, I’ve been lost in this realm of uncertainty ever since. Because though the “relationship” is officially “over,” there are some small seeds of hope that it could still actually blossom into something real. So we could, potentially, still have a chance at having a relationship. Or I could say no, if that question was ever asked. Or it could never be asked and I could find someone else. Or I could find no one. There are so many different ways this could pan out and there are plenty of What Ifs to accompany each route.

What if we date and everything is as amazing as I always thought it would be? What if it’s everything I ever wanted? What if we completely fall on our faces and the relationship crumbles? What if everyone thinks I’m an idiot for giving him another chance? What if everyone hates him? What if I miss out on the guy “meant for me” because I gave him another chance? What if he is the one meant for me and I gave him up too early because it took a little work beforehand? What if I end up alone forever (but kill it as your ultimate dog lady)? 

Yeah, sometimes, my mind sucks.

There are just so many elements in play: my emotions, my feelings, logic, the opinions of others…all of which conflict and fight each other on a daily basis, which isn’t exactly comforting.

You got the feelings I have for the guy that everyone I care about tells me “didn’t treat me right” and constantly reminds me that I can “do better and deserve better,” yet part of me still wants to try because he does mean so much to me and I know he could treat me exactly the way I “deserve.” But then that raises logical questions, like, why hasn’t he already? What made him take so long to chose me; which, in turn, brings up some questions regarding trust. Yet he’s also made me happier than any man before him. Doesn’t that count for something?

Then I look at all the relationships I’ve ever known. All of them have had some sort of conflict, at one point or another. To varying degrees of complexity and difficulty. Some started great and got rough in the middle, only to become stronger. Some started out difficult and took work, but made it in the end. And very few have been really solid throughout it all, hardly a hiccup in sight. And sometimes, when people tell me that I can “do better,” I want to point out that every relationship is different and maybe this one is just experiencing the rough patches at the beginning. I want to ask not to be so quick to judge, even though I know everyone is just looking out for me and wants me to be happy. And I haven’t been happy, recently. So I understand that. It just adds another level of complexity.

And then you get all of those corny quotes telling you to never pick a guy who made you question or made you guess or made you walk away. Then there’s the small excitement of meeting someone new, wondering who is out there for me and the excitement of flirting and getting to know someone; battle that against the comfort of already knowing someone and admitting there are some challenges there, but there is also certain happiness, as well. Then there’s the fear of never finding anyone else juxtaposed with the fear that I already found them, but I’m just giving them up because it takes work and everyone else tells me I should and they are proud of me for finally letting go of something less than what I deserve. But is that really what want?

Yeah, I’d love to just kill my mind for an hour now, thanks.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to two things: choice and risk.

Everything is uncertain. I have no idea if said dude will ever want to try an actual relationship with me. I honestly have no idea if I’m willing to try, if he wants to–my heart and hope scream yes at the same time my mind, my doubts and my fears shout no. I have no idea how I’d meet anyone else or what I’d say if I did. I have no idea about any of this and all this worrying and thinking I’ve done in the past week isn’t really helping.

Regardless of whatever happens, the choice is mine. And though I do recognize that I really rely (a bit too much) on the approval of others, I have to trust that those closest to me will support whatever decision I make. And I need to let myself make that decision, without basing it off the opinions of others.

Even though I’ve been searching for the right answer, through talking and blogging and praying, I think I’ve come to the realization that there isn’t one. There is no right answer. That’s why it’s a risk.

I can’t know that my choices are going to be the best ones. I have no idea how they are going to affect my future or if they are going to hurt me or make me happy. There is no guarantee that whatever choice I make is going to be the right or the wrong one. Because that’s what risk is. It’s making a choice and sticking with it even though you don’t know the end. It’s trying to decipher the feelings in your gut and learning to follow them. It’s talking with those involved and learning to trust them. It’s finding a balance between hope and logic.

At the end of the day, it’s weighing everything I’ve been describing and more, and then finally making a choice, trusting yourself to make the right one. It’s accepting the aftermath and forgiving yourself when you make the wrong one. It’s having the courage to change your choice, if that happens. Or the courage to stay, depending. Or even trusting yourself enough to believe that you made the right choice and believing that everything is good, even when it feels too good to be true.

That realization doesn’t make figuring out my love life any easier. I know that I definitely don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m trying my best to follow my heart wherever it guides me (even if that journey is a bit confusing, at times). I’m doing the best I can and I’ll take a small comfort in that. Because all I can do is try and follow my heart, trusting it to guide me true. Even it it leads to failure and ruin, at least I gave it my all.

Hopefully, when I look back at all of my choices, no matter how many were “right” and “wrong,” I’ll be able to take comfort and avoid regret, knowing that I did the best I could navigating this quest called life; amidst every wrong turn, pleasant surprise, lucky break, difficult choice, second chance, mistake, celebration and achievement, I tried and followed my heart.

Can we really ask ourselves to do more than that?

Cheers.


Being Okay With Lazy

The past two days, I’ve been a bit…lazy. Instinctively, I felt like I needed to beat myself up about it. My To-Do List wasn’t getting any shorter and there was so much time that I was wasting, especially after having such a productive Monday. But I’m writing this post to remind myself that this is okay.

Here’s what an ideal day is like, for me, in the summer:

Wake up at 9am. Either run or go to the gym. Stretch. Lay out by the pool for an hour and hopefully read for a bit. Shower. Make lunch (and dinner, since I work through dinner time and need to prep it beforehand). If I have enough time before work, sneak in some PS4 time. Then, go to work, where I’m lucky enough to also have time to write, blog, do things for my internship and various other stuff from the To-Do List, on top of daily work stuff. Come home, maybe sneak in some more PS4 time or an episode on Netflix before going to sleep. Smile, rinse, repeat.

Here’s what the past two days have looked like:

Tuesday, I work up to my alarm at 9am. Snoozed it. Woke up at 9:30am, felt good, still had time to run and swim and eat and relax before work. But I really just wanted to stay curled up in bed. So I did, dozing on and off (with bloody weird dreams) until about noon. Then, I played Shadows of Mordor until it was time for work, frantically getting ready because I just wanted to kill a few more orcs before I left.

Today, I got up at 9:30am but instead of going to the gym or swimming like I planned, I went straight back into Mordor and slayed, once again pushing it to the brink, time wise, rushing to shower, dress and grab some stuff for dinner all in thirty minutes.

That’s two days where I didn’t work out at all but had plenty of time to. Didn’t swim or tan (and I’ll be honest and admit I’m really digging working on a tan), even though the weather was totally perfect for it. I didn’t use some of my free time to actually accomplish some things so that there wasn’t so much pressure crammed into my evenings. Instead, I just relaxed and got way too invested into Shadows of Mordor, which I’m replaying (and will hopefully actually beat this time) before Shadows of War comes out in the fall.

I keep telling myself I should feel guilty, that I wasted all this time. Except I shouldn’t. And I didn’t.

Sure, if every day could be as productive as my Monday was, I’d be pretty jazzed. I’m obviously very capable at being productive. I’d also get burnt out, really fast. Plus, is all that productivity suddenly ruined because I consciously decided to let myself just be lazy for a few days and enjoy one of my favorite passions? Especially knowing that, once I go full-time next week at work, that free time with the PS4 will be much more limited? Am I abandoning my goals because I chose to be lazy instead of pursuing them?

Not at all.

I’m choosing to believe that being lazy for a bit is okay.

Granted, if I started to give up all my goals for weeks on end, then we might have an actual problem to address. It’s a fine balance, staying productive and chasing dreams and goals, while also letting yourself unwind and relax. If I was choosing to not pursue my goals because I was in a massive depressed rut, that is also something else entirely. But I’ve been generally pretty okay the past couple days, emotionally, and instead of forcing myself to work out or swim or be hella productive, I’ve just let myself give into some orc-slaying pleasures and be lazy. I have a feeling I might even let that laziness continue into tomorrow, before I drive into a busy weekend. And next week, I can get back on track with routine and knocking my goals out of the park. Because a little indulgence, every once in a while, it’s okay.

It honestly is.

Plus, those orcs aren’t going to slay themselves. (Maybe each other, sure, but Talion and I have work to do.)

Cheers.