Simple as That

Hello! It’s been a while. I haven’t posted in quite some time and after finally snagging some free time after training, I decided to go ahead and write about a post that I wanted to write a few weeks ago, but just never had the time to. I went to a late night Wal-Mart  run with my mother and sister to grab some stuff for dinner. It was already approaching the later hours of the evening and we were starved. My Mom was making me chicken and rice for dinner (one of my favorite meals EVER) and I said to my sister, “Man, I am so excited for chicken and rice. I am going to eat my weight in it…which is a lot.” We were bagging up groceries at the time in the check out line and the young lady, prolly my age, if not a bit older, who was working the register said, “Doesn’t look like it” while she scanned another item. 

Lemme just say, wow! I didn’t even realize that she was listening and I didn’t expect her to respond (though I totally don’t mind, regardless of what she would have said; if I was working, I would want to talk to the customers too), especially with such a nice comment! And she sounded quite sincere, as well. I was so flabbergasted that I muttered a disgruntled “thank you” and she simply kept doing her job. But what she doesn’t realize is she did so much more than that, with so few words. 

People who know me know that I have struggled with accepting my appearance. I have struggled with my weight. I have definitely struggled with my self esteem. And while I have come a long way from my past with this war, I fight battles every day, and sometimes, I still lose and slip back into the mindset that the mirror is my enemy and that I’m not good enough.

Now, at Wal-Mart, I wasn’t fighting a losing battle with that comment. I wasn’t even thinking negatively. I was trying to explain just how hungry I was and just how stoked I was for this feast my Mom was going to prepare. Regardless, the cashier called me out and told me I was wrong. And that meant the world to me, that she would say that without even knowing me. And because we’re strangers, she doesn’t know my past; isn’t aware of this struggle that I still pray to overcome. She could never realize just how much her simple comment meant to me. I mean hell, I’m writing a blog post about it, weeks later. 

And that is just it. Her simple “doesn’t look like it”, four simple words, had a huge affect on me. It made a difference. It is a memory that I can think back to when I am losing my next battle and it could quite possibly help me come out victorious that day. Her words were powerful.

And so are yours.

I’m back at my University going through training to become a Resident Assistant. This will be my second year with that position and I am absolutely loving it. And a big part of my position is how much of an impact I make on the life of my residents. I am in a position of authority and have the power to change lives. But even if I wasn’t, I still have that power. A simple sincere compliment and nice gesture towards a stranger — or even a friend — can move mountains. You don’t know what that person has gone through or what they have struggled with. It is impossible to know all of their past, their secrets or the demons they may be facing. You don’t know how powerful you are and how much you can influence and inspire. And half the time, people don’t even realize this enormous amount of power they have. Or, they chose not to use it when the opportunity arises.

And that’s just silly.

Like I said, a few quick words or an act of kindness can move mountains, without you even realizing it. Let that realization sink in. Your words and actions are powerful. You are powerful. So go out and change the world.

It’s as simple as that. 

Cheers,

Nicole

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About Nicole Evans

Nicole Evans is a writer of fantasy and science fiction. She is currently unpublished and is working fervently to get the “un” removed from that statement. She has five completed manuscripts: a trilogy about destined heroes that fail anyway, a science fiction standalone that pits the natural desire to love against the natural instinct to kill during the extinction of the human race and a new series about a writer who can't get published and gets the chance to live a life that all writers dream. She also has two scripts done. Currently, she is about to start writing the second of a nine book series while planning two more. (If you can tell, she really likes this whole writing thing.) Considering she has run out of space for putting rejections letters up on her wall, Nicole now uses her spare time doing the typical things that nerds do: blogging, dying repeatedly during video games (which she believes is retribution for the characters’ she’s killed), wishing she was the character she is currently reading about and trying to fight off the real world by living in her own head, with varying degrees of success. Nicole has a degree in Creative Writing and a minor in Film and Media Studies, and works part-time as a supervisor in a library at the University of Kansas. View all posts by Nicole Evans

2 responses to “Simple as That

  • someone else

    You and I are different people. I’ve been given compliments, but I cannot shake all of the negativity from others that I’ve had to carry around my entire life. So, the bad outweighs the good. I am more likely to remember a bad experience than a good one. A person’s negative criticism is more likely to stick than a compliment. I’ve met you, and you’re more connected to the world than I am, and you’re more readily regarded than I am as a human being.You’ll be fine. You’re just like everyone else.

    • inkstaind13

      I totally understand where you are coming from. I’ve been there. And it sucks. A lot. And sometimes, I still slip into that mindset, that the bad outweighs the good. But that is what it is: mindset. These emotions, these responses to what other people say, they are choices. And that is hard to realize and even harder to change. It takes time. Hell, it took me almost three years to do the 180 that I have done, as far as my mindset on the world, others and most importantly, myself, is concerned. But it *can* be done. But you just gotta stop letting what others say, what others think and what they believe dictate *your* life and your view of yourself! Because I promise you, you deserve better. Your self worth is more than a thousand times whatever the worst negative comment someone has paid you is. Please listen to me on that. I know what I’m suggesting is hard, but it’s worth it. I’ll get off my soap box now, but please, don’t let anyone else change or lessen your views on yourself, okay? Thank you for taking the time to read my blog!

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