Stuck in a Funk

Man, if that title doesn’t describe my mindset right now, I dunno what does. I am definitely stuck, caught in the midst of a funk that is fueled through the emotional roller coaster I’ve been riding for the past month (with this past week being a definite, intense down). From missed love and a bruised heart to genuine fear and confusion, my emotions have been everywhere and the moments when they have been positive have been few and greatly missed.

And everything else, it seems, have been put on hold.

Blogging.
Editing.
Internship.
Reading.
Freelancing.
Writing.

All of these elements have taken up a lot of my time recently, as I became more involved in the community and gave myself permission to take myself seriously as a writer. And I have loved every minute of it. Yet I’ve been unable to not only do any of these things, but also even struggled to find enjoyment within them, when I actually do manage to focus. The funny thing is, my haywire emotions aren’t going to stabilize when the aspects of my life that I enjoy most, I am too emotionally drained or upset to be able to enjoy or escape within them.

Ah, the nefarious Catch-22 moment that loves to invade my life. Hello, again. It’s been a while.

Running has definitely been the outlet I’ve turned to. Turn on some jams, crank up the volume to 11 and 30 seconds in, I’m already struggling to breathe. The physical exertion helps distract me from whatever dark corner my mind is trying to slip into. It helps me deal with how frustrated I am that even my life’s bloody calling isn’t enough to help me out of this funk.

Yet.

Because guess what, funk? That’s right, I’m being rude to my readers and talking directly to you, now. You may have had control over me for a while, but that’s all changing here real soon. I may not be able to determine when. It may be an up-and-down battle. It may take some stubbornness on my part. It’s definitely going to take a lot of self-care and reflection. But you’re a funk and that’s all you are: a phase, temporary; not who I am at my core, at my realest, at my peak.

So tonight, I’m going to watch a little Netflix when I get home for work. I’m going to eat a little ice cream, maybe make some popcorn. I’m going to sleep in. And then I’m going to get to work, searching for whatever I can to help battle the funk I’ve been in and help me return to the happy, positive person I naturally am–even if I get sidetracked every once in a while.

Cheers.

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About Nicole Evans

Nicole Evans is a writer of fantasy and science fiction. She is currently unpublished and is working fervently to get the “un” removed from that statement. She has five completed manuscripts: a trilogy about destined heroes that fail anyway, a science fiction standalone that pits the natural desire to love against the natural instinct to kill during the extinction of the human race and a new series about a writer who can't get published and gets the chance to live a life that all writers dream. She also has two scripts done. Currently, she is about to start writing the second of a nine book series while planning two more. (If you can tell, she really likes this whole writing thing.) Considering she has run out of space for putting rejections letters up on her wall, Nicole now uses her spare time doing the typical things that nerds do: blogging, dying repeatedly during video games (which she believes is retribution for the characters’ she’s killed), wishing she was the character she is currently reading about and trying to fight off the real world by living in her own head, with varying degrees of success. Nicole has a degree in Creative Writing and a minor in Film and Media Studies, and works part-time as a supervisor in a library at the University of Kansas. View all posts by Nicole Evans

9 responses to “Stuck in a Funk

  • azpascoe

    I sincerely hope you didn’t settle for just a ‘little’ bit of ice cream :p Seriously though, funks suck, especially when it feels like you’re working your butt off to get everything done and you’re not enjoying most of it. Awesome news about the running though! And I’m coming up your way next week, so we can eat cake and be merry and you can tell me all about what’s been happening (feels like we haven’t chatted in forever!). Keep your chin up 🙂 xo

    • Nicole Evans

      I’m almost out of ice cream now, to be honest. 😛 And slowly (very slowly) working my way out of the rut (as you can tell, as I’m just now getting to responding to blog comments!). It has been forever since we chatted, but I cannot wait to meet both you and James! ❤ Ah, the excitement is so real!!!

  • Tanna

    As always, my dragon-sister, are life’s wave-lengths are in sync. I’ve been in such a funk for so long, that it’s like pulling teeth to treat writing like the job that it is. I can definitely relate to this post on so many levels.

    Let’s work together to end our funks together, because the sooner we can get into the groove of writing, the more our words will dance on the page. (This seems to be a very musically-oriented comment, but whatevs, I’ll roll with it. ;p)

    Take care my friend!

  • Jessica M

    You have a lot on your plate, and it is so overwhelming. You have to Have to take a time out for yourself, even if it’s for a week. And sometimes, just writing it out and venting about it helps to put it all in perspective. Write down your priorities, then write down what you’re most stressed out about. See how the two lists compare. I like to approach things from a logical and practical point of view, so this seems to help me at times.

    But sometimes, that doesn’t help, either. Let go of all your (self-imposed? personal) responsibilities and tasks on your to-do list and redesign your priorities. Let something go for now, as it can always be returned to in another month. There aren’t enough hours in the day, and we think we can do everything in a day. But the truth of the matter is, quality = time. Designate a day/evening for writing, another day for blogging, etc., and switch it around when you feel fit. At the end of the week, you can check it all off no matter what day you did it on. Minimize the amount of rules and obligations, especially when there’s times of stress or emotional pain. It’s okay!

    I hope your night off was fun!

    Hang in there! ❤

    • Nicole Evans

      You always have the best advice, did you know that? I haven’t implemented it yet, but I may just need to bring back the good ole To-Do list method. I have always been fond of it and it might help me avoid the whole, “sit and be a little sad and not do anything” rut that I have been falling into more often than not.
      You’re amazing. ❤

      • Jessica M

        Aw, I try, thank you too much for your kind words. Have you made any progress so far? I’ve always kept a weekly scheduler growing up, then with the advent of apps, I started using Todoist (I highly recommend it for us control freaks), and now I still use Todoist, with the help of a bullet journal so I can see the bigger picture. Helps me feel like I have some form of control in my life!

  • justbmoreblog

    hey! I’ve been reading all your posts on my phone and it doesn’t let me like or comment. Loving what you write. Miss you!!!! You’re doing great. (Is it your turn or mine to write a letter?)

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