Tag Archives: Fitness Goals

One of the Neatest Things

Since last November, I’ve lost 19 pounds.

That’s something I never thought I’d write, let alone be my reality.

It is…one of the neatest things.

Part of me wants to apologize for even writing this post, because how braggy can someone get? Yet if you’ve ever stumbled upon this blog or have followed it for years, chances are, you’ve read a post about depression and self-hatred. You’ve read about the struggle I’ve had loving myself, most particularly the way I look. You’d know I’ve been fighting this battle for a long, long time.

You understand how monumental this feels for me.

So my apologies if I brag here for a moment.

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Like I have so many times before, last November, I told myself, “You need to lose weight. You need to become healthy. You need to create a body that you can look in the mirror and love.” For my height, the healthy weight range is 140-165. My goal has always been to get to 160 pounds and as the years have gone by, the amount of weight I’ve needed to lose to reach that point has only continued to increase. In high school, I was around 185 pounds, but by my senior year of college, I had finally hit that dreaded (to me) point and passed into the 200 range. I had reached the point where I had to lose 40 pounds to get to the higher end of my healthy weight range. I felt hopeless and discouraged in a lot of ways. That sort of weight loss was impossible to achieve.

Eight months later, I’m at 181 pounds. One more pound shed and I’ll be halfway to my goal. Two pounds and I’ll be in the 170s. If I lose a pound a week, I could reach my goal by Thanksgiving. Of this year.

Friends, I am floored at this progress. At this milestone. Of wanting the same thing for so long and finally actually doing something to achieve it. I’m floored to actually be able to feel and see the difference. I’m floored that, every once in the while, I look in the mirror and I smile at what I see. There is still plenty I want to change, but damn if I’m not stoked at where I’m at right now. The lowest weight I’ve been since I was in high school. Shaping the body that I want.

The journey itself has been a bit of a whirlwind. There were plenty of weeks where I gained weight or fluctuated between gaining and losing the same few pounds. There have been weeks where I’ve killed every fitness and eating goal I’ve put ahead of me and weeks where the only movement I got was reaching into the chip bag while sitting on my couch. It’s been a lot of trial and error to figure out what works for me and what doesn’t. There’s been times when I’ve had to forgive myself and times I knew I needed to push harder. I know that this journey will continue to change and evolve, as it’s one I’ll have for the rest of my life, because it certainly doesn’t end once I hit 160. I know there will always be hiccups and struggles and roadblocks and setbacks. That’s okay.

But for the first time ever, I’m confident that I’ll also see progress.

That is…one of the neatest things.

So thank you for your support. For encouraging me and challenging me in this journey. For telling me I’m worthy no matter what my size is (because that’s a capital T Truth). And thanks in advance for the future support and the understanding when I decline that dessert you offer or don’t go back for seconds, even though that food was bomb. It’s a lifestyle change that I’m so excited I’ve finally taken control of and I think it’ll always be a work-in-progress, but your encouragement, support and understanding is phenomenal. And I couldn’t do it without you.

Oh, and just for fun (and because I am so frugal and never spend money on anything), I also wanted to share my rewards for the next 20 pounds to lose. I think having a little extra incentive never hurt anyone, especially as I have a feeling the second 20 pounds might be harder to lose than the first.

  • 20 Pounds: New Tattoo
    • Granted, I’d already planned to get this one in August, but I’m going to cheat and count it as my reward.
  • 30 Pounds: Mass Effect Sweatshirt
    • This one might seem silly, but I’ve been eyeing this Mass Effect sweatshirt for many, many months. And it’s $60, which might not be a lot to you, but that’s always been unjustifiable to me. And I think losing 30 pounds is more than enough justification to get a kickass hoodie that I’ll never take off once I own it.
  • 40 Pounds: Die Hair
    • Again, I hate spending money, but especially on “frivolous” things like doing my hair (even though I feel so fantastic after getting it done). It gets expensive and a lot of the time, I just can’t let myself do it when I should be saving my money. But I’ve always wanted to die my hair darker professionally, even though doing so and getting it cut, too, is a bit pricey. But reaching the weight I never thought I’d reach and having my hair look amazing? Yes, please.

If you have some goals or dreams that you’ve always wanted to achieve but never seem to reach that finish line, I really encourage you to take a scary look at what you’re actually doing to achieve them. Before last November, while the dream of loving my body was very real, the actions I was taking to make it a reality were non-existent and thus, the dream was out of reach. And trust me: you want to know what it feels like to work towards what you believe to be impossible dreams and see yourself make progress, with the knowledge that you yourself are the reason you’re achieving them.

It really is one of the neatest things.

Cheers.


Quest for Happiness: Week Twenty Four

Fitness:

  • Long-term Goal: Shape the body I want and become healthier.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Workout 5x and eat well.
    • Status: I’m counting it. I did manage to workout five times and ate pretty well, though I sorta fell off that bandwagon over the weekend. But I’m still stoked about it and ready to continue improving this week.
  • This Week’s GoalWorkout 5x and stay on target with calorie goal.

Writing:

  • Long-term Goal: Edit three books, write four new books and query at least one.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Edit two chapters.
    • Status: Halfway! Only edited one chapter, but the next one is a bit massive, so I’ll dedicate the next week to working on it.
  • This Week’s Goal: Edit chapter.

Reading:

  • Long-term Goal: Read 60 books.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Finish book and write review.
    • Status: Done. And boy was that finale fantastic.
  • This Week’s Goal: Pick one book out the five awesome choices to read next.

Relaxation:

  • Long-term Goal: Create and maintain a mindset that taking care of yourself is just as important as everything else.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Kill some war chiefs and get my tan on.
    • Status: Success! 
  • This Week’s Goal: A lot of reading, a lot of tanning and a lot of orc slaying.

Blogging:

  • Long-term Goal: Increase output over all three blogs, i.e., post more consistently.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Blog twice.
    • Status: Success (even if it was on my book review blog and not this one).
  • This Week’s Goal: Blog twice.

Financial:

  • Long-term Goal: Manage money with more awareness, start retirement fund and build savings.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Map out available spending.
    • Status: Yep.
  • This Week’s Goal: Resist the growing temptation to buy shit.

Quick post today, but excited to continue to push forward as we’re already halfway through the summer!

Cheers.


Quest for Happiness: Week Twenty Three

Fitness:

  • Long-term Goal: Shape the body I want and become healthier.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Workout 5x and eat well.
    • Status: Nada, señor. I worked out once and ate pretty decently (still gotta figure out how to navigate those weekends). The journey continues!
  • This Week’s GoalWorkout 5x and eat well.

Writing:

  • Long-term Goal: Edit three books, write four new books and query at least one.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Edit three chapters.
    • Status: Killed it. Only 60 pages left to edit and I’m pretty jazzed about my progress so far.
  • This Week’s Goal: Edit two chapters.

Reading:

  • Long-term Goal: Read 60 books.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Read every day.
    • Status: Nada. 
  • This Week’s Goal: Finish book and write review.

Relaxation:

  • Long-term Goal: Create and maintain a mindset that taking care of yourself is just as important as everything else.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Swim, game and Sherlock.
    • Status: Success! Didn’t swim much or watch Sherlock, because my life has once again been consumed by playing Shadows of Mordor. I regret nothing.
  • This Week’s Goal: Kill some war chiefs and get my tan on.

Blogging:

  • Long-term Goal: Increase output over all three blogs, i.e., post more consistently.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Blog twice, catch up on reading blogs and responding to comments.
    • Status: Success!
  • This Week’s Goal: Blog twice.

Financial:

  • Long-term Goal: Manage money with more awareness, start retirement fund and build savings.
  • Last Week’s Goal: FRUGAL.
    • Status: Eh? Finally caved and bought some new running shoes. Very, very close to not being paycheck to paycheck anymore. Very ready to get there.
  • This Week’s Goal: Map out available spending.

Last week, I had a lazy week and got lost executing orcs in Mordor. And I’m okay with that, especially as I still accomplished my writing goals. This week, as I start my new schedule going full-time, I’m ready to get back on the grind and form a routine. Let’s see what goals we can accomplish.

Cheers.

 


Quest for Happiness: Week Twenty Two

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Fitness:

  • Long-term Goal: Shape the body I want and become healthier.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Really attempt to eat like Naturally Slim teaches you.
    • Status: Success. I slipped up a couple of times, but I actually tried to follow the advice of the program I’m trying out and I’m pretty proud that I managed as well as I did. Now to see if I can keep it up and continue working out, as well.
  • This Week’s GoalWorkout 5x and eat well.

Writing:

  • Long-term Goal: Edit three books, write four new books and query at least one.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Edit two chapters.
    • Status: Almost. I edited roughly one and half chapters, so I’m still counting this as a win. And though I’m being ambitious with the number of chapters I edit per week, honestly, I’d be happy with one, considering I’m at the point of the novel that will probably take the most reworking. So as long as I keep writing, I’ll be happy.
  • This Week’s Goal: Edit three chapters.

Reading:

  • Long-term Goal: Read 60 books.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Read every day.
    • Status: Almost. 
  • This Week’s Goal: Read every day.

Relaxation:

  • Long-term Goal: Create and maintain a mindset that taking care of yourself is just as important as everything else.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Not die from the summer heat and either watch Sherlock or start a new video game.
    • Status: Success! I swam, I watched the entire second series of Sherlock and I started playing Lords of the Fallen, which is a lot harder than I imagined it would be. Still, I’m stubborn, so we’ll see if I can keep it up and ever get pass the second boss.
  • This Week’s Goal: Swim, game and Sherlock.

Blogging:

  • Long-term Goal: Increase output over all three blogs, i.e., post more consistently.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Blog twice.
    • Status: Wahoo! Done and done.
  • This Week’s Goal: Blog twice, catch up on reading blogs and responding to comments.

Financial:

  • Long-term Goal: Manage money with more awareness, start retirement fund and build savings.
  • Last Week’s Goal: FRUGAL.
    • Status: Almost. Still a few little things I shouldn’t have bought, but I’m doing pretty well resisting spending any money.
  • This Week’s Goal: FRUGAL.

Life has bit a bit…rough, in the past couple of days. However, I’m grounding myself in these goals and pushing myself to continue creating and working towards the person I want to be; a person that I am proud of, love and am comfortable being. I’m hoping to really remind myself this week, through working on these goals, that I can create happiness myself, alone, as I continue to learn on how to love myself and strive to have a life I enjoy and am proud of.

Cheers.


The Little Things

When you’re trying to change the way you’re body looks, it’s so easy to get caught up on the numbers on the scale; so easy to get frustrated when you fluctuate between losing and gaining, when you can’t get past that one number or, worse, when you trip up and gain everything back you lost in the weeks prior. It’s easy, when you’re still so far away from your goal, to still look in the mirror and notice all the ways you still need to change and improve; how much work is still ahead of you. It’s easy to maintain old habits and continue to avoid mirrors all together, to get discouraged when your weight goes up instead of down, to feel queasy when you weigh yourself to begin with or to wonder if you’re ever going to reach your goal.

It’s easy to focus and nitpick the little things.

The way your legs still look like cottage cheese. Those love handles that stick out over your pants. The stretch marks. The way your triceps are still flabby. How your calves only look slim at certain angles. Your thighs rub together. Your back fat. How no part of you looks good good in pictures.

You nitpick so much that those little things become something bigger, to the point where you get discouraged, you lose hope or you give up all together.

It’s not as easy to focus on the little things that matter.

Like how the scale went down .2 pounds since last time. How you cut off 10 seconds off your mile time or ran for five more minutes. Adding weight when you’re lifting. How you don’t breathe as hard walking up the stairs. The way you sometimes pause to look at how your jeans fit in the mirror. The slight definition you feel in your muscles, even if you can’t actually see it yet. The moment when you buy a pair of shorts instead of capris to wear over the summer or you wear that two piece despite how your love handles stick out. How you can wear a skirt and your thighs don’t chafe, even though they’re touching.

There are two paths of thought being described, here: the path looking at how far you need to go and the path looking at how far you’ve already come. The former can be dangerous, even detrimental, towards achieving your goals. It’s dark, and once you step onto it, it’s very easy to continue on until you don’t remember the light anymore. The latter is well lit and promising, encouraging you to push forward, no matter how long it takes or how small the proof of progress is. It’s also the harder of the two to choose, especially consistently.

But you must.

In my fitness journey, I get so caught up looking at all the ways I still want to improve that I forget to appreciate how far I’ve already come, only six months in. Sure, the progress is small and the journey is still long, but the progress is present. And if I quit now, I’ll have no second, hopeful path to strive towards. Instead, I’ll slip into a third path of regrets, laden with What ifs, as all I can notice is how I went backwards, instead of forward–even if going forward includes fluctuating numbers on the scale, cheat days with sweets, still avoiding the mirror and feeling like you’re never going to make it. Because if you push forward, if you continue to choose hope and work and effort, you’ll make it. You will.

I want to be excited for a year from now, two years from now, five years from now, to be able to see and feel exactly what traveling down the path of little things that mattered helped me achieve; to reach the goals I’ve had for most of my life yet never reached.

Here’s to the little things, both the ones that push me and the ones that try–and fail–to stop me.

Cheers.


Quest for Happiness: Week Twenty One

Fitness:

  • Long-term Goal: Shape the body I want and become healthier.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Workout 5x.
    • Status: Halfway. I only worked out twice, so the plan is to get back to at least four times a week this week. Also, I really want to focus on actually eating when I’m hungry, managing my portions and eating slowly next week, on top of working out.
  • This Week’s Goal: Really attempt to eat like Naturally Slim teaches you.

Writing:

  • Long-term Goal: Edit three books, write four new books and query at least one.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Edit 3x.
    • Status: Almost. I only edited twice, but I did get through two chapters. Now I’m getting into the true meat of the work, as the next section desperately needs some attention.
  • This Week’s Goal: Edit two chapters.

Reading:

  • Long-term Goal: Read 60 books.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Finish The Bloodforged. 
    • Status: Done! And wrote the review, to boot.
  • This Week’s Goal: Read every day.

Relaxation:

  • Long-term Goal: Create and maintain a mindset that taking care of yourself is just as important as everything else.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Watch series 2 of Sherlock and lay out by the pool.
    • Status: Yes. Didn’t watch Sherlock, but did enjoy the pool opening, which was really nice.
  • This Week’s Goal: Not die from the summer heat and either watch Sherlock or start a new video game.

Blogging:

  • Long-term Goal: Increase output over all three blogs, i.e., post more consistently.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Blog twice.
    • Status: Negative. I did write a review on the book review blog, but neglected to post anything on the personal blog. Hopefully will amend that this week!
  • This Week’s Goal: Blog twice.

Financial:

  • Long-term Goal: Manage money with more awareness, start retirement fund and build savings.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Stay frugal this month.
    • Status: Hopeful. I had to buy some shorts in order to survive the summer and when I was out shopping for those, I definitely felt the urge to just shop. I have some stuff I want to buy for the house, new clothes, some books…but gotta stay frugal for the bills to get paid.
  • This Week’s Goal: FRUGAL.

Though I didn’t necessary do horrible last week, I definitely didn’t try as hard as I could have to really focus on and achieve my goals. Luckily, every week is a chance to better myself, try harder and recommit. Ready to conquer Week 21.

Cheers.


Quest for Happiness: Week Twenty

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The feeling I get when I’m making strides, the pool is open and it’s officially summer.

Fitness:

  • Long-term Goal: Shape the body I want and become healthier.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Eat well.
    • Status: Eh? I didn’t eat particularly poorly, but I didn’t focus on eating well like I should have. I think next week will definitely be a more eating focused week, but this week, I want to be back in the gym and on the trail.
  • This Week’s GoalWorkout 5x.

Writing:

  • Long-term Goal: Edit three books, write four new books and query at least one.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Complete in-depth write up of Artemis’s character.
    • Status: YES. Not only did I sit down for an hour and write out some of Artemis’s quirks and life stories, but I also started editing the book and actually edited two chapters. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but for this writing rut, it means the world.
  • This Week’s Goal: Edit 3x.

Reading:

  • Long-term Goal: Read 60 books.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Read!
    • Status: Um…I only read once. Dang it.
  • This Week’s Goal: Finish The Bloodforged. 

Relaxation:

  • Long-term Goal: Create and maintain a mindset that taking care of yourself is just as important as everything else.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Get outside.
    • Status: Yes! I have a feeling I’ll be outside a lot more often now that the pool at my apartment is open. And I’ll get a lot more reading done.
  • This Week’s Goal: Watch series 2 of Sherlock and lay out by the pool.

Blogging:

  • Long-term Goal: Increase output over all three blogs, i.e., post more consistently.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Catch up writing reviews over video games.
    • Status: Yes! Still have quite a few reviews I need to write over video games, but I did write the two I wanted, so I’ll count that as a win.
  • This Week’s Goal: Blog twice.

Financial:

  • Long-term Goal: Manage money with more awareness, start retirement fund and build savings.
  • Last Week’s Goal: Get ready to pay June’s bills.
    • Status: Yes! All the bills are set up and ready to go. Goodbye beautiful money. *sighs*
  • This Week’s Goal: Stay frugal this month.

 

20 weeks. It’s almost June and yet I’m still maintaining, with varying degrees of success, focusing on the goals I made in January (even though I really technically started doing this in February, but…). I’m making progress and I’m enjoying the ride along the way. Life is good, friends. Life is good.

Cheers.